Are You Living a Dark Night Of The Soul?

The term ‘Dark Night Of The Soul’ was first used in Catholicism to describe a spiritual crisis. It is a period in our lives when our belief about the meaning of life is destroyed. Suddenly, nothing that we have believed is true. Everything we have held dear turns out to be false. Often we will experience a deep loss of some kind. Our life no longer has any meaning. Nothing makes sense anymore. There is no purpose to anything. It is very similar to a deep depression, but it is actually a spiritual depression, often lasting for years.

We usually do not realize that we are in a Dark Night Of The Soul until we begin to climb our way out of it. We only know that our life is falling apart and that nothing is as it was. The more we try to force our way out of the darkness, the darker it gets.

Emotions are overwhelming during this period. We will feel anger, helplessness, hopelessness, shame, guilt, frustration, self-pity, loneliness, etc. Techniques that normally help us to release these emotions no longer work, because instead of releasing the emotions, we must Love them, ourselves and where we are in order to heal them.

During this period, we don’t want to be around others. They do not understand what we are going through, often telling us to ‘snap out of it’, which we are not able to do. We have no energy and no interest in anything. We feel stuck and cannot see a way out. 

The only way out of a Dark Night Of The Soul is through surrender. We must accept that we are not in control, but that Spirit (God, our Angels, our Soul) is. We must throw up our hands and give up fighting. We must accept the changes that are inevitable. 

The Dark Night Of The Soul is very similar to the Shaman’s Death and rebirth. 

Grandfather,
I do ask for death,
For the parts of me,
That will not hear
Or speak the truth,
Which are too blind to see.

Grandmother,
Give me birth again,
With love as my guide,
Truth and beauty as my path,
With nothing left to hide.

(The above was taken from – THE SACRED PATH CARDS BY JAMIE SAMS)

My Dark Night Of The Soul:

Several years ago, my life was going great. I was able to easily manifest the things I needed in my life. My business was doing well and my client base continued to grow. I was excited about my life and my future.

Suddenly, everything changed. My business tanked, and I had very few clients. I felt burned out and exhausted. I did everything I knew to manifest more clients, but instead I continued to have less and less. My partner began to work fewer and fewer hours. Money was a major issue. There was a problem with the title to the house we purchased, and instead of correcting the problem, the owner foreclosed on it. We were unable to find another place to live in Central Texas, forcing us to return to Northeast Texas last year.

I did not understand what was happening. The healing techniques I use with my clients were not working to heal my emotions. I could not manifest anything positive in my life. My Angels were not talking to me. I was still successful working with the few clients I had, but not with myself.

Shortly after arriving here, I was caring for my paralyzed wolf and ruptured another disk in my back. I was unable to get out of bed for 3 weeks and in excruciating pain. I had trouble with my insurance, and it was several months before I was finally able to find a doctor here and the emergency room was not much help. The pain in my back continued to increase as the fluid slowly drained from the disk. I tried to push myself to keep moving and walking, but finally had to accept that I could no longer do much activity. This was very hard to accept. It is very difficult to want to do things but not be able to because of pain. It is very wearing on the spirit to be in constant pain. It is embarrassing to move at a snail’s pace have to use a scooter to buy groceries.

I was furious about everything that was happening to me. I kept asking ‘why’. Why had I been forced to move back here? Why did I have to experience this much pain? Why could I not manifest? Why had my Angels abandoned me? I felt like I had lost everything. I could not envision my future. I could not even think what I wanted my future to be.

I became very frustrated with the bs in the metaphysical community. It really bothered me to see people paying high prices for the false channels, the fantasies being spread as truth and the spiritual snobbery. I no longer wanted to be part of that community. This attitude caused me to attract even fewer clients.

I kept trying to force change to happen – to attract clients, to manifest money, to improve my health, but the  more I did, the worse things got.

Finally, I asked Spirit what I was supposed to do. The only message I received was to rest and to heal. I needed to focus on myself for a change. I needed to learn to Trust that my needs would be met. This was not an easy lesson for me and took months to come to terms with. I spent more time resting, doing energy and emotional healing on myself. I Trusted.

This is when I finally realized that I had been deep in a Dark Night Of The Soul. Once I understood that, it made a lot of sense, but I could not see it until I reached a point of surrender, until I gave up struggling.

I stopped trying to push myself to walk and do things. I rested when needed. I focused on myself and my needs for a change. As I have learned to care more for myself, I have been slowly climbing back into the Light.

Nothing I believed is true any more. How can I teach the Law of Attraction when I was not able to do that myself? How can I teach that we create our reality when I am not able to create a different reality? How can I convince others that our Angels are always there guiding us when mine did not seem to be? How can I be part of the metaphysical community when I no longer believe as they do? These are still questions that I am struggling to answer.

I am now in the phase of rebirth, of recreating myself. I still have no idea what that will look like, but instead of trying to force it, I am waiting for Spirit to show me what is next. I am beginning to receive guidance from my Angels again, but only whispers. I have reached a point of total surrender, knowing that I am not the one in control.

If you need help traversing your Dark Night of The Soul, I can help in a Heart and Soul Healing Session.